Snakes and Stones and Broken Bones

Garth Brooks once sang a clever country song thanking God for unanswered prayer:

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers / Remember when you’re talkin’ to the man upstairs / That just because he doesn’t answer doesn’t mean he don’t care / Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

Okay, I’m fine with all that. After all, ever since Sunday school I was taught that God answers our prayers either “Yes,” “No,” or “Wait.” And especially we parents can understand that when a son or daughter asks us for something we may respond with one of these answers—“Yes, you can have a new bike.” “No, you can’t have it because you didn’t take care of the one you had.” “Wait, son, you might be getting a new bike for Christmas from Grandma and Grandpa.” None of us would answer, “No, you can’t have a new bike. In fact, I’m going to take away the one you have just for asking.”

But that’s just what God did to me on Saturday, November 17.

My wife and I dropped off our five-year-old son and eight-year-old daughter at a backyard birthday party at 1:00. By 1:30 we were at home sipping tea, taking advantage of a couple hours of peace and quiet with the two older kids down the street and our youngest taking a nap.

Just when we got comfortable, I felt an overwhelming urge to pray for the safety of my son and daughter. I said to my wife, “Let’s pray for Sophie and Lucas.” I prayed a prayer for safety, asking God to protect them, to keep them from harm. When we finished my wife told me she had already prayed for them on her own, and that she was glad I asked her to pray the same thing as a couple. So, having prayed for the safety of my kids, we settled in our chairs, grabbed our cups of tea, and . . .

The phone rang. We eyed each other nervously. I picked it up and, sure enough, the neighbors informed us that Lucas had hurt his foot and couldn’t walk. It turns out he had broken his right foot by playing too wildly without shoes.

Now, when it comes to God’s answers to prayer, I can always handle “Yes,” “No,” and “Wait.” But getting a stone instead of a loaf, or a snake instead of a fish is downright unacceptable (see Matthew 7:8–10). Whatever happened to Matthew 18:19?—“If two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven.” Not only did my wife and I pray in agreement that Sophie and Lucas wouldn’t get hurt, but it also seemed that the same burden to pray for our children’s safety was placed on both of our hearts at the same time!

My experience with God that weekend completely contradicted His promises in His Word. God let me down.

Or did He?

As my wife and I reflected on this incident, I began to realize that our definition of “rock” and “snake” are far too limited. God knows the future and all potential futures just as clearly as He knows the actual present or past. Clearly He has a much better perspective from which to determine what constitutes a rock or snake in my life.

I’m convinced that sometimes when we ask for a loaf (something meant to nourish, strengthen, and promote life), we’re unknowingly asking for a rock. What if God “ignored” our prayer for our children’s safety at that party and allowed Lucas’s foot to be broken in order to answer our prayer in a greater way? Perhaps by forcing Lucas to be confined to a foot brace for six weeks God prevented something far more severe—perhaps even deadly—from occurring. Even from our limited, finite perspective, sometimes the most loving thing we can do will cause temporary pain. What father wouldn’t tackle his toddler to the ground to save him from a speeding car? Or what mother wouldn’t hurt her one-year-old’s feelings to keep her from drinking Drano? In fact, almost every life-saving surgery involves a bloody, invasive procedure followed by a long, painful recovery and some kind of scarring. Yet we not only willingly submit to this pain . . . we pay thousands of dollars for it!

So, on Saturday, November 17, my wife and I may have asked for a rock, but God gave us a loaf. We may have begged for a snake; He provided a fish. We may have been asking God for something as whining children; He responded as a loving Father.

I don’t know any of this for certain, of course. But I can dismiss my disappointment in our unanswered prayer because of a few important facts about God: He is good; He is all-powerful; He is all-knowing; and He loves us.

Thank You, God, for my son’s broken foot.

What the Church Is NOT, Part 2

Over the years I’ve noticed that the attitudes and actions of many Christians regarding the local church conform more to the patterns of the world than to the pattern of God’s Word. In light of this problem, I wanted to correct several common misunderstandings about the local church by examining four things the church is not. In the first article of this series, I suggested that the local church is not merely a human organization, but a divine institution—something new, supernatural, called by the Father, constituted by the person and work of Christ, and united by the Holy Spirit.

In this article, I want to address a second misconception (and mistreatment) of the local church.

The Church is Not a Supermarket of Spiritual Groceries

In the world of supermarkets, we like options, variety, the freedom to choose. Few of us have heart-felt commitments to a particular store. We may shop at one store until the prices get too high, jump to another until the workers get too rude, then flee to a new one where the prices are better and the people are nicer. That may be how we make our shopping decisions, but is this attitude right for the church? Sadly, we often treat the church as though it were just one of many “supermarkets” that provide us with spiritual groceries. We’re living in a Christian culture where church shopping, hopping, and dropping are regarded as normal.

Church Shopping. Our supermarket mentality and the availability of a plethora of differing churches make our modern situation both unique and dangerous. We never seem to find just the right church, and this dissatisfaction can lead to a never-ending church-shopping spree. I once knew a seminary student who, after six months of living in Dallas, still hadn’t settled down at a local church. Each Sunday he would try out a different church, then move on to another the following Sunday. Eventually he began following a particularly well-known Christian preacher who did not have a church at the time but guest-preached at different churches every Sunday. So, like “groupies” following a rock band, this wandering sheep followed that celebrity preacher around from church to church each Sunday morning. This is an example of an indefinite church-shopping spree turned into an extreme case of “church hopping.”

Church Hopping. We believers sometimes stick around one church until something goes awry or until we just don’t feel like we fit in any more. Then we hop to the next church, spend some time, get involved, then prance off to the next when things don’t feel right. I once knew a man of retirement age who had at least four church memberships at the same time! He started out at a Baptist church, which began having trouble when their life-long pastor retired. He moved to a small independent Bible Church, which began to experience growth pains when the congregation grew too big and a decision had to be made to move to a new building. He then switched to a different Bible Church closer to home, where he became a member and attended actively for about a year. Then, at the invitation of his son, he began attending a very small start-up church with a contemporary service, where he decided to stay for a while. Four memberships, no commitments—that seems to fit the evangelical way.

Church Dropping. Finally, church dropping is probably the most disturbing. This is the practice of not simply leaving a church for another, but quitting church altogether, staying home Sunday mornings to watch preachers on TV or to listen to worship services by radio or podcast. This is the believer who tries to live the Christian life outside a living local church community. But that’s not the believer pictured in the New Testament. Whenever possible after baptizing new believers, the disciples incorporated them into the life of the local church. They didn’t leave new believers alone in the world to fend for themselves without teaching and guidance (Acts 2:41-44). We would be alarmed if people decided to starve to death rather than visit another grocery store. The same should be true about those who drop out of the local church and attempt to “go it alone” with their spiritual lives either completely isolated from others.

Overcoming the Supermarket Mentality

Our relationship to a local church is like our relationship to a family. Like a marriage, it’s a covenantal relationship designed for the purpose of building each other up and exhorting each other to love and good works (Ephesians 4:10–13; 1 Corinthians 12–14; Hebrews 10:23–25). If we look at our pathetic commitments to the local church through the lens of covenant commitment, the picture isn’t pretty. The church shopper is like the reckless romantic who wanders from woman to woman, never finding the ideal mate because his standard is unrealistic perfection. The church hopper is like the unfaithful spouse who, having become bored with his bride or fed up with his family, abandons his home and starts a new one. The church dropper is the absentee parent or the dead-beat dad who drops out of sight and relevance, leaving his responsibilities to others.

Are you treating the local church like a supermarket? Have you been influenced so much by your consumer culture that you’ve made church shopping, church hopping, and church dropping normal habits? Because these attitudes and actions are so common among Christians today, you may have never paused to consider whether such an approach is healthy, wise, or even right.

The solution? Start treating the local church less like a supermarket and more like a family, less like a relationship of convenience and more like a covenant of responsibility.